Man, I'm a fucking dork.

I remember once Kelly told me that one of her friends thought I wouldn't like doing some kind of cheesy activity because I was cool and might snub my nose at it. To which I told Kelly, this girl obviously doesn't know me, does she? Kelly agreed.

Because not only is this post my FOUR HUNDREDTH, which officially makes me a blogeek (the fact that I just combined the words blog and geek says something right there) but here are some other reasons:

1. I belong to a library that I visit on a weekly basis.
2. I was never good at making friends. So much so that I remember when I was a young child I remember my mom taking me outside to introduce me to the neighbors and I just couldn't speak. I was a very very shy kid who liked to do puzzles and swam till my hair turned green. Thus, come high school I was never in a clique or in any type of popular crowd type thing. In fact, I'm still weary of "cool" people.
3. I stopped watching tv to take hikes around every park around Seattle.
4. I just got Anne of Green Gables: The continuing story at the library and even though the first 30 minutes isn't nearly as interesting as the other series, I will have to watch all 3 hours because I've never seen it.
5. I knit. And have been trying to teach myself to knit and be able to look up while doing this. Thus, letting me talk to people face to face and watch movies/tv while making scarves and the like. I'm like training my brain to do this every single day. It's strange, but I'm determined for it to work.
6. I'm technically a writer. Hello, big time dork.
7. I used to wear glasses and have really short hair.
8. I'm pretty organized, and like to go to sleep knowing when I wake up everything will be in its place.
9. I cook for myself often. No fancy restaurants for me!
10. When I showed a girl at work the book Generation T: 108 ways to transform a t-shirt we both got so excited we literally jumped up in the air and made plans to use her sewing machine and collect as many t-shirts as possible.
11. I like to go to movies by myself sometimes.

So when I told all this to Maya, who plays the french horn and loves to knit while dreaming of visiting Prince Edwards Island, she said, "Well yeah, but isn't it better that way?"

And I'd definitely have to agree, that yes, yes it is better this way.

Something of interest (to me).

The mouse in my apartment is either a mouse I'll never find, or someone's cat. This might never be determined.

Mike thought he was turning 35, when actually his parents confirmed he is now 34. Talk about turning back the years.

The guy, on the bus next to me today, reaked so much of pot that I almost asked him, "How much for an 1/8?"

Pluto was never actually a planet. Thank god that's laid to rest.

I never saw the last of The Hills. Did the blonde who was dating the most imperfect guy for her go to Paris?

The book I'm reading, The Moviegoer, is so far beyond my time that although I'm half way throughout I don't think I've actually read a single page.

31 states recorded increases in adult obesity. People, put down the motherfucking chips/fast food/ice cream and go for a fucking walk!!!

My work just had the friendliest fire drill ever. On the loud speaker, a very nice man said, "Hello. We will be having a fire drill right now. Sorry to inconvience you in any way." And then some pretty little beeps happened. It was really swell. And I'm not being sarastic at all.

I just got my second call from a place in Michigan, wondering if I would be interested in a job. I, of course, called him back to say, "Hahahahahahhahahahahahahhaha!"

Good day to everyone! It's Tuesday, otherwise known as The day of Two's!!

Friday-Sunday=Drunk

Friday: 12pm-10pm drank a lot with co-workers. Kinda walked around the zoo. Tried to make kids cry and then take pictures of them. Found out some good co-working gossip. Bummed too many cigarettes off of people. Went to the most amazing Cuban restaurant with a smaller group of drunk co-workers. Somehow walked over to a party. Left abruptly, took my free cab home, opened mail in the bathroom and spent at least 15 minutes trying to figure out the pattern Maya sent me even though it's all in knitter's code (thanks again!). Totally passed out.

Saturday: Went to Gas Works. Pretty interesting as far as parks go. It's like Dr. Seuss land or something. Walked along some sort of trail. Went to Zach's friends bbq. Got drunk again. Ate way too much excellent food. Bummed less cigarettes this time. Came home for no real reason other than I was getting tired. Attempted to walk to this park I heard about. Decided half way there that I was too drunk to walk and talk on the phone at night. Totally passed out again.

Sunday: Woke up pretty early. Went to the gym and the park I attempted on Saturday. The trail was pretty cool and surprisingly so close to home. I love windy little paths that end up somewhere you would never expect. Although I got this bad feeling at one point that since it was 9am and I'm a girl walking alone on a deserted trail that I was for sure gonna die and no one would know until a dog sniffed my bones. I ran a little faster out of the trail. Bought a jacket Kelly would've loved for only $10 at a garage sale. Got good fruits and veggies at the Farmer's Market. Went swimming and drinking by the lake with co-workers cause it was just that damn nice. Forget to watch the Emmy's and didn't really care anyway. Figured all the good stuff would be talked about on The Today Show.

All and all I can't remember that much, but I remember it was sunny and I most likely had a beer in my hand.

Beer at the Zoo

We're having our Summer Party in a few hours and of all places to have a party, my agency decided on the Zoo. We're not your typical big company where everyone wears suits and we all talk about work. When we hear the words beer, free food and the zoo we're all over it. And to make matters more interesting and festive we're having this random scavenger hunt. So, not only do I guarantee that by the nights' end an animal will mysteriously escape, but I'm also 90% positive someone will die looking for a hidden egg in the lion's cage.

Oh, and did I mention the fabulous Knutt Bell will be performing. Honestly, I've never heard of him but his picture was too Southern awesome for words. I will be dancing and drinking way too much. And then heading over to The War Room for more dancing and drinking.

This is all to celebrate Mike's birthday of course. As he turns 35 today!!!! Funny, as he looks younger than me but has a soul of a 70 year old. And he's not here for me to smother him with kisses because he has to live way over in Detroitville. But hopefully in a month or so he'll be back, looking for a job and all that other shit.

Love and hugs and happy day to you baby!

I'm trading in the car for the bus.

I've been going back and forth on whether I should just sell the one thing I own that actually has some sort of value: my shithole of a car. I've owned it for a few years now (with my parents help thankfully). But now that I live in a city where I take the bus everywhere, even to parks, I'm using my car less and less. Actually, the last time I drove it was maybe a month ago and that was to just take it to the mechanic. I'm paying far less in gas and much less in insurance, but I'm still struggling with letting it go. I don't have to decide now. But I know I'll have to make up my mind in a year or so. The only reason I'd really need it is for travelling, and even then I can easily take the train ($58 roundtrip to Portland/$68 roundtrip to Vancouver). And who doesn't want to go on a train?! So yeah, I have some decisions to make (in a year).

That brings me to the bus. On Sunday I went to the biggest Hempfest ever, I guess. I was meeting friends there and I took the 8, which is my normal route to work. But I was on it for the first time, without a book/magazine/ipod/a friend from work. It was so strange. Normally what would seem like a 5 minute ride suddenly felt like an hour (it's only 15-20 minutes). I was bored. There weren't even crazy people to look at like normal. I suddenly felt fiddity and didn't know what to do with myself. My everyday routine was now completely out of whack.

But at least I didn't have to find a parking spot along the pier. And that beats boredom on a bus any day of the week.

The Joy of Everything

I currently have 8422 songs on my Ipod. The joy of all those songs is that I'm still finding out that I have new albums on there. Yesterday I discovered a CD I had gotten for free at a Landmark Theater and fell in love with two songs.

Not sure why I'm telling you this. Maybe cause it makes me happy.

Other things that make me happy:

Trails with lots of trees
Really soft, pink yarn
Taking the bus instead of paying for gas
Reading at the gym
Talking to Mike everyday for at least 2 hours
Hookas
Little asian baby girls (I just saw 2 on the bus and considered stealing them)
The hopes of owning a farm one day
Or at least growing some kind of vegetable/fruit in a backyard
And maybe have a few chickens
Gosh, I really want a farm BAD
Travelling, preferably to places I haven't been before but also revisiting the places I like over and over
Lakes
Hairpins with cute little decorations on them
Getting cards/letters (so far I've gotten only one since moving to Seattle. Thanks Mayarn!)
The possibility that I can one day make my own skirts
Watching people play soccer on the field at the park right next to my apartment building
Twirling
Trespassing
Making funny faces if a camera is pointed at me
Smoothies, preferably ones with strawberries in it
Pink Lady Apples (although the fuji one I'm eating right now is seriously the size of my head and delicious)
PEANUT BUTTER (if you opened up my insides I'm pretty sure you'd find a few gallons of Jif)
My incense holder. It's an elephant and his mouth has a hole, where the smoke can escape from. I think I bought it at a Japanese festival in Miami with my sister.
Visiting the Atlantic Ocean in December every year
Finally living on the Pacific NW!
Movies that make me laugh
What Not to Wear
Lost
Degrassi: The Next Generation
Concerts/Festivals/Anything that gives me an excuse to dance like a crazy lady
Falling in love
Being busy at work
Sushi
Paleek Paneer
Ice Cream Sundaes
Smores
Camping!
The smell of Camping!
FIRE!!!
Summer nights
The beginning of Fall (and all the knitting to come!!)
When people I don't know follow me into the bathroom just to tell me they like my cute shoes.
And sleeping...

I could go on and on but it's lunch, and I'm starving.

COFFEE IN CAPITAL LETTERS AND EXCLAMATION POINTS@@@!!!!

OKAY, SO I HARDLY EVER DRINK COFFEE! I WAS SURROUNDED WITH WATER AND ORANGE JUICE AS A KID (THANKS MOM! I THINK THIS SERIOUSLY HAS HAD A GOOD EFFECT ON MY HEALTHY EATING HABITS!!) BUT THIS MORNING I WENT TO GET THIS CRACK COFFEE IN A BAG FROM A PLACE RIGHT DOWN THE STREET (VIVACE- I GUESS IT'S FAMOUS OR SOMETHING). I GOT THE BEANS FOR MIKE, BECAUSE HE LOVED IT WHEN HE CAME FOR A VISIT AND IT'S HIS BIRTHDAY THIS WEEK (35!!). WHILE THERE, I WAS LIKE, WELL I'M HERE. MIGHT AS WELL GET THE SMALLEST MOCHA SOMETHINGEROTHER SINCE I HAVEN'T HAD ANY IN A FEW MONTHS. IT WAS NICE. WARM IN THE BELLY AND ALL THAT SUGAR THAT I'M NOT USED TO IN THE MORNING.

THEN I ARRIVED TO WORK THIS MORNING TO EVERYONE SCREAMING, "FREE BREAKFAST UPSTAIRS. CROSSIANTS AND COFFEE MADE TO ORDER. GET SOME! GO GO GO!!" SO I WENT. AND I SERIOUSLY DON'T KNOW HOW YOU 3-4 COFFEE A DAY PEOPLE DO IT. I'VE ONLY HAD 2 AND I'M SO FUCKING HYPED UP RIGHT NOW I SWEAR I COULD RUN A MARATHON AND DO CARTWHEELS ALL DAY LONG. IT DOES NOT FEEL AT ALL RIGHT. IT FEELS LIKE I'M A BOBBLE HEAD. BOING! BOING!

AND THIS IS WHY I DON'T DRINK CAFFEINE. I MIGHT NOT HAVE ADHD, BUT I'M PRETTY SURE IF I DRANK THIS EVERYDAY I WOULD. AHHHHHHH! HYPERACTIVATITY IS MAKING ME LOONEY TUNES!!!! I CAN'T SIT STILL. I CAN'T STOP TAPPING MY FOOT. MAKE THIS BAD TRIP COME DOWN ALREADY!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

What the world's been waiting for.

SNAKES ON A PLANE!!!

See it. It might be more awesome that Shark Attack 3: Megalodon. Or at least I'm hoping.

Also, if you haven't sent your friend a personalized message from the Samuel L. Jackson telling you to see the best movie of the summer, then visit:

snakesonaplane.com

You won't be sorry.

The OC

I've never seen the stupid show, but tomorrow I'll be going there for a total of 12 hours (which means I'll be in California for the first time!). No time to see friends or really do anything for that matter, but I'm just excited I get to go. For free! And possibly eat an In and Out burger (for free!). And the good news is, I can still bring my knitting on the plane.

Short blog = busy at work.

Water bottles a go go.

It's weird that this plane chaos is happening because I was actually gonna write about my plane experience I had on Sunday. I was flying from Detroit to Seattle, and noticed this weird machine in the x-ray line. Apparently, now in major airports they have this cage thing you go into and it puffs air on your body, smelling for drugs and bombs.

This immediately caught my eye, because I know plenty of people that still moronically bring illegal things on airplanes. Not me though. I saw Midnight Express and don't want to be put in a Turkish prison for a joint. I'm the type of girl who gets scared when a cop stops me or even when I walk through the airport, even if I have nothing on me. Because in my head I think, what if someone planted something on me while I was at that party? What if I slept walked in the middle of the night and hid all that coke in my purse? Really, I figure if I'm that hard up to get stoned I can find it at my arriving destination because ya know, drugs are everywhere.

But now this whole bombing thing seems much more important to talk about. Not really because of the bombs, or the really long lines or all the cancelled flights, but because now I have a feeling I won't be able to bring my own water/pbj/fruit onto a plane anymore. They'll ban them, like they've banned lighters and a flimsy useless swiss army knife that belonged to my grandpa (which couldn't cut a tomato, let alone a pilot's neck). I think the terrorists are just making it more impossible for me to enjoy flying. So now, I'll have to beg for more juice when the stewardess walks by, and I'll have to buy $10 soggy turkey sandwiches instead of bringing my good food/water from home.

All because of terrorists.

I Shall Call Him Mickey

In my life I've encountered many mice.

1. While working at sleepaway camp, a lot of girls underwear (for some reason) mysteriously looked like they were being eaten. Then, one night in the counselor's bunkroom we heard a noise, opened a drawer, dropped said drawer and proceeded to girly squeak as a little mouse scurried away.

2. Living in Union Square (Manhattan) mice were basically considered another form of a bum. I'd walk to the subway and watch the mice run off with every step I took.

3. While visiting Caitlin, we both heard something in the middle of the night but were too tired to investigate. The next day, we opened her cupboards to fix us something to eat and instead discovered a huge mess. The mouse had gnawed it's way into a big box of rice.

4. When my ex-boyfriend and I went to NY to find jobs, we stayed at a not so cheap Ramanda one night. We were on the 7th floor. I heard shuffling behind the entertainment center. The trash can tipped over and a mouse ran about. I piled everything we had onto the bed and wouldn't come down for about an hour. They gave us 10% off: for mouse in room.

So yesterday, I was knitting and watching Degrassi (I seriously have an addiction). That's when I kept hearing weird little noises. The same noises I've heard time and time again when I later discovered a creepy little Fievel. I turned the TV off for about an hour and everytime I heard the noise I'd try and investigate, but couldn't find anything. The noise was in the walls, maybe in the air vent (where they usually get in- those bastards). I called everyone I knew in a panic. It's the first time I've been alone with a mouse and I freaked. I called Mike crying. I called Zach, who didn't believe me. I called Beth who told me to move.

I think I may have to take down this fucking thing. It's me against the world (of mice) folks. Get ready and take cover.

I'm changing my name to my same name.

For anyone in the advertising world, then you know what Adcritic is. Well, I found out today that I'm kinda in it.

I say kinda, because when I checked the credits on the site I helped write I noticed something strange. Actually, it really wasn't strange. My name was spelled wrong. It was Barry Arliss. This is very typical in the life of me. In fact, the next time I send out anything where people might not understand that the spelling BARRIE means girl, I'll just matter of factly write Barrie "a fucking chick if you can't tell by the IE at the end of Barrie" Arliss.

I'm seriously not surprised or upset by this. The only funny thing is that this is my first time in a pretty recognized ad geek thing, and I wanted to show my Mom that my name was in it. But now I can't, because she didn't give birth to a Barry Arliss.

In other news, Carl got a motorcycle. Let's all pray he doesn't fucking beef it on his fucking sweet Triumph (not the dog).

And in more news, my Mom was very worried when I didn't call her at 2 am (her time) last night to report that I had indeed landed back in Seattle. When I got her email saying how could I? I always call or do something. So I wrote back saying I was too tired and that probably makes me a bad daughter. Then, I ended the email with:

But really, if my plane crashed I'm sure you would have heard about it eventually.

Love,
Barrie (NOT BARRY!)

I write on a blog and at work.

You see that little ad on the corner for Sidekick 3. I actually wrote that. I thought it was pretty funny that a little link I wrote at work ended up landing on a blog I write for fun.

In other news: I'm leaving on a jet plane. I don't know when I'll be back again. Oh wait, I'm lying. I'll be back on Sunday. But it's the song and I just totally blanked on the rest of the words. Mike, I'll see you sooooooooon!!!!!!!!

True Story

Next on Inside Edition:

Twins who dress alike! Why? Who are these people? We'll get to the bottom of it, Next on Inside Edition.

On the next Primetime ABC news:

His face is actually fuzzy. Meet a whole entire family who are actually part human part werewolves.


Sidenote: Fuck the shit going on in Israel (and Seattle). This is the real news!